You’re a product of what you have been doing overtime. Your life at the moment is a product of things you allowed yourself to dwell in over the years. You may have heard the saying that says your habits would either make or break you. Things you do on a daily are the output of what your present life is at the moment.
Most of the time, we tend to be overwhelmed by the raging storms of life. Things sometimes don’t go the way we want, and we become so sad and kind of withdrawn. But you know what? Such is life, and no matter what, we need to keep moving and hope for a better tomorrow.
Your life at the moment, might not be so rosy. But do you need to kill yourself over it? Or be depressed for the rest of your life for an unforeseen event you do not have control over? Or brood and deprive yourself of being happy because of things that may have happened that you cannot change?
Either way, you need to keep your head high and keep going and hope sooner or later, you’d see a tiny reflection of light at the end of the tunnel. You might be thinking it’s easier said than done. But as the saying goes, you just need to put all your heart in it, that way you will be stronger and move on gradually.
I for one over the years have also been entangled by some toxic habits that I wasn’t so proud of. But with determination, I can say, I have gradually been able to at least, get back on my feet and be on a gradual journey of becoming who I want to be. Am not there yet, but I believe by getting rid of these toxic habits almost ruined me. I am now on the right track.
Mind you, Toxic habits are so easy to form, they come to you on a platter of gold. But once you make up your mind coupled with enough discipline, and tell yourself you need to change your life in order to be that better version of yourself, in no time, you can kick them out as time goes on.
This piece is to point out some toxic habits you might presently be putting yourself through. That is pulling you down instead of lifting you up. Those toxic habits you have to indulge yourself in over the years, and which have eaten so deep into you.
That you seem so confused and broken on how to get out of the shackles of those toxic habits. I’d share with you tips on how to overcome them. And live a better, fulfilling, and happier life.
1. Negative thoughts
The mind is the gateway to your soul. Negative thoughts most of the time creep in when things don’t go as you expected. It creeps in telling you, you are not worth it, that was why you didn’t get the job you have so prepared for.
Those negative thoughts, creep in and whispers into your subconsciousness and tell you, you are not worthy that’s why you were not given the promotion you worked so hard for, and that you’re qualified for.
You have no control over when these negative thoughts should come in or not. But you are so in charge of either allowing the negative thoughts to stay on your mind or telling yourself everything is for the better. And not allowing yourself to go into depression.
I remembered a time, in which I had spent endless hours coming up with a write-up for a platform. And I was not getting enough reviews as I expected. At some point, I had negative thoughts, telling myself I wasn’t good enough. Perhaps writing isn’t my calling or that is not a thing I have a flair for.
Those toxic negative thoughts told me to quit and look for something else to indulge my time in. But I told myself, I have started already, I cannot stop now. I just need to keep going no matter what.
And guess what, in no time, I started having good reviews. And I even won different awards on the same platform for my write-ups.
Today as it is, I do not know what might be going through your mind at the moment about some things that didn’t go as you wanted. But I want to honestly tell you this moment, that kicks the toxic habit of negative thoughts out of your head and minds this moment. By doing this you are in turn improving your life for the better.
Hence, instead of thinking;
1. Am not good enough………Think I am enough and I am awesome
2. I cannot do this…….tell yourself you can and you can do anything you put your mind to do
3. I am a failure…….tell yourself you are a success and you are succeeding in all you do
4. I am not liked by anyone……tell yourself you’re loveable and amazing people are attracted to you.
The more you say these positive words and saturate your mind with positive thoughts. Those toxic negative thoughts won’t have a place in your mind anymore. They’d leave you and you will realize you feel happier than you were before then.
Procrastination is a killer of time. Do you find yourself wanting to do things, but you realize you always put them for later? You tell yourself each day, you want to do the chores on time, read a good book, start exercising, learn a new skill online, etc.
But you find yourself not always doing them, but putting them up for later. If you find yourself in this category of toxic habits, it’s terrible I know. I honestly know how you feel because I have also been through this a thousand times in which I have lost count of.
And at the end of the day when you look back on how you’ve spent your day, you scold yourself and at the same time, you feel so sorry for yourself as well.
I am still on the path of overcoming this toxic habit of procrastination. But these are steps that have helped me overcome a great percentage of procrastination. Hopefully, when you put it into use, it might also work for you as well;
i. Endeavour to come up with a simple to-do list for the next day the previous day
ii. Make sure the to-do list is not too bulky. That way you won’t be stressed out in order to complete it.
iii. Set an alarm for the next day today. This might depend on your time zone mine is 4:00 am
iv. Once you’re up if you’re the religious type. Say your prayers and devotional. Meditate for a few hours by being grateful that you’re alive at least.
v. Exercise for some minutes
vi. Have your bathe
vii. Have breakfast
viii. Reply important mails
ix. Then start your to-do list for the day
x. Your chats should only be responded to only if it’s urgent or very important. But if otherwise, only when it’s your free time or leisure time you can reply to them.
Yeah, how you love to be in bed for so long only the heavens can take you out of your bed. How you so love to be in your comfort zone undisturbed. How you so love to watch different series on TV or Netflix from morning to dusk. With your popcorn or a chilled bottle of carbonated drink by your side, hmmm seems fun yeah??
How you love to be on different social media platforms almost all day chatting your precious time away over irrelevant things that are not so beneficial to you. How you just love middling in another person’s business instead of focusing on your life. The list is endless!!!
If you belong to this category of Toxic habits. Then I need you to take about 2minutes and sincerely ask yourself what exactly are you doing with your life? I kñow how you love the undisturbed vibes and all.
But such won’t take you far or do you much good in the long run. You need to snap out of the toxic habit of laziness right now, this very moment! And tell yourself you need to get out of your comfort zone.
You need to stop doing things that are not adding to your life positively. And go out there and make something tangible and worthwhile for yourself. Mind you, you won’t get any of the things you sit in your comfort zone fantasizing about.
If you so desire the things you fantasize about, you need to go out and get it. This can only be done if you tell yourself this moment you’ve had enough of being lazy. You have so much energy inside of you to be that hardworking, and industrious lady or man you so desire. Make that decision and move today! And you won’t regret it.
4. Comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can ever do to yourself is to compare yourself to others. Like Iyanla Vansant once said; a Comparison is an act of violence done to self.
Most times, you might feel a lot of persons with whom you grew up together from the same neighborhood are doing way better and are already ahead of you in life.
Whereas you are just like a snail or tortoise who is gradually crawling and not making any tangible progress. You feel incomplete, so insecure, very sad, dame depressed, and you start asking yourself, why are you not also making such great waves? Well, it’s normal!
Life is just like driving on the highway, even though you might have started off with the other person/s on the same lane. You tend to realize most times, you either overtake them or they overtake you.
Sometimes, unforeseen circumstances happen to like either your car or theirs developing a fault, and pulling over to get the fault fixed.
Or you or the other person tends to divert off the road following another path entirely different from yours. This is because you two are on a different mission in life. You two want different things, hence you were heading towards different directions at some point in time and life with different intentions.
Therefore, this can also be applied to your life scenario. Think about yourself and others being on the highway, driving towards different destinations.
Also remember, you are beautiful and amazing, and worth so much more. If you weren’t then you won’t be here now or may have come this far as you have. Do not be too hard on yourself. Take each day as it comes, be happy, as each day passes by. Learn to show Gratitude each day for the things you have, and things you’re hoping for.
You might not really be where you once envisioned yourself to be. But don’t kill yourself over it with the toxic habit of comparing yourself to someone else. You are only gradually draining your mental well-being and making yourself fall gradually into depression.
Hence, decide today to put in your very best in whatever you find yourself doing at the moment, tell yourself each day that you’re a BIG STAR who is gradually rising from the horizons. Earnestly waiting to be a success
Stop draining yourself today by over-dwelling yourself in the toxic habits of comparing yourself to others around you. Such a toxic habit needs to stop today, in fact right now!!
5. Stop the toxic habits of following the crowd.
Why put yourself through the stress of always being a follower of some person who doesn’t really care about you. Why put yourself through the pain of just being a puppet and not having a say for yourself?
How long do you intend to follow the path others have followed, without you sitting down and asking yourself what is the path you need to create for yourself and follow? You need to stop and put an end to the toxic habit of following the crowd.
You are worth so much, you have a lot of amazing ideas inside of you. Hence, start standing for what you want, and believe in.
Hence, do not just go for anything anyone tells you or wants you to do. Get rid of the toxic habits of following the crowd today, and watch your life transform for the better.
6. The Toxic habits of Self-doubt
How we tend to so doubt ourselves. How we tend to most of the time tell ourselves we are not good enough even before we try something out. Do you know you’re your worst hindrance?
Because once you start telling yourself you’re not good enough to achieve a particular thing or have a particular success, then you are your own worst hindrance. You hinder yourself first in your mind before the universe starts sending factors to hinder you. And make you be where you are.
I was once told by someone I hold so dear, that no one can hinder me unless I give them the power to. And I do that right from when I start doubting myself through my mind.
If you belong in this category, then, the toxic habit of doubting yourself needs to stop,! You need to go for whatever you want now if you don’t want to look back on your life in the next 10/20 years from now and start regretting why didn’t you make that move?
On why you didn’t go for that idea you had in your mind? On why you didn’t learn that new skill, etc. Stop doing this to yourself, and embrace yourself today by telling yourself you can do more. In fact, much more you can ever imagine.
7. Dweeling and brooding over the past
I honestly do not know what you’ve been through these past few years. Neither do I know how far you’ve come. Or what lead you to the place you presently are that you ain’t so proud of. I wouldn’t know as well why you are not happy with yourself because your past mistakes or deeds have to lead you into the ugly situation you are in.
Well, no human is above mistakes. In order to be complete and appreciate the good times more, it’s necessary to make some mistakes. But such becomes toxic when the past mistakes were made either by you or anyone else. And you decide to gripe so tightly to it and refused to forgive yourself and let go.
By doing this, you are inflicting mental and emotional injury to yourself. This is not only toxic, but it also deprives you of the true happiness that you deserve. Therefore, am calling you to take action today. To let go of your past.
For the past only gives you reasons not to be happy. It makes you feel sorry for yourself, to hold on to it instead of letting go and moving on. You shouldn’t allow this toxic habit to gain ground in your mind. Right now, where you are telling yourself;
My past has no hold over me
I am above my past
Irrespective of what has happened, I forgive myself and whoever has caused me so much pain
I deserve to be happy
I deserve a new start on a clean peaceful slate
The future is bright and beautiful
I am strong, and am moving on forever!!!
Say the above often, and you will find out you will become more peaceful with yourself and your past.
8. The Toxic habits of loving yourself less
One of the greatest gifts you can ever give to yourself is loving yourself. How then do you even want to be a great success when you do not love yourself?
Why torment yourself over your feeling insecure about your look, the way you smile, your body size not being so perfect according to you. Do you know that, even though at the moment, you might not be having all the amazing compliments to your face, there are a whole lot of folks who are secretly admiring you? Who wants to have your type of hair. Who loves your dentition, who loves the way you walk, etc??
Therefore, stop killing yourself secretly feeling bad and sorry you are not this and that at the moment. Work on yourself in terms of the type of unhealthy diets you indulge. If by anyway, you’re overly fat and you feel insecure about it hence hating yourself by loving yourself less.
Improve yourself in areas you feel you are not good enough. Make efforts at least to be a better you. That way you will find yourself gradually metamorphosing into that man or woman you want to be. All you need to do is work towards it today and don’t give up!!!
Muhammadtaha Ibrahim (Unsplash)
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