How to Build Trust in Relationships

Trust can be a controversial issue and building it is one hell of a task if you don’t know how to. It is like the glue that holds relationships together, and building it takes time, effort, and understanding.

Though building trust may pose challenges, the effort invested is undoubtedly worthwhile. Creating a foundation of trust involves regular check-ins, open communication, and avoiding assumptions.

In this guide, we’ll explore some easy-to-follow tips on how to build and nurture trust.

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The Importance of Building Trust in a Relationship

What To Do To Build Trust In Relationships
Building Trust in Relationships

Today, we’re talking about how to build trust in relationships. Trust is really important. When you have good, positive, trusting relationships, it makes everything else easier.

It’s really important to take this concept seriously. Now I want to get a few information out of the way right away.

The first one is that nobody owes you trust. They don’t, in the first place when they meet you, you should not assume that they need to trust you in some way because they owe it to you. That’s just not the way trust works.

Trust is earned over time and with patience and with effort. It’s not automatic and for that reason, I also want to say, and just get this right out of the way, you’re not going to learn any tricks in this article.

I don’t believe that trust is something that you should try to quickly get people to do for you because to me there’s a warning sign there.

I don’t recommend ever saying things like you have to trust me or What’s the matter why don’t you trust me or well you got to believe me what’s the problem here? 

Sometimes, it’ll come out authentically and I get it. But you should not use those as a way to get people to trust you because it sounds like manipulation.

It sounds like a way to control the situation and use guilt to get what you want.

And that’s just not the kind of relationship or even personal development advice that I would ever give to anybody.

How to Build Trust in a Relationship

Having said all those things, let’s get into the actual advice that I would like to give.

1. Good Character

The first is that you have to have a good character. In other words, if you want people to trust you, you have to be trustworthy.

Good character means that you are an honest person. You tell the truth. You’re looking out for other people’s interests, not just your own.

The famous coach John Wooden said the truest test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.

So you are who you are when no one is watching. That’s a paraphrase of that sentiment.

Do you try to get away with little things when no one’s watching? Do you stretch the truth a little bit? I want to do a gut check here in terms of your character.

Two tests for me personally that I do on myself. Two gut check tests do I have good character in this situation?

And the first one is, do I exaggerate to try to get what I want? Do I make something seem a little bit better or even a little bit worse depending upon what I’m looking for, to get what I want? Do I exaggerate?

Another gut check for me, and I’d like you to do these gut checks for yourself, is, do I take responsibility for the little errors and mistakes that I make?

I think that’s another good indication if something little goes wrong, do I accept the responsibility that I was the one who caused that, and then I tried to fix it the best I can?

Or do I try to smooth it over and make it seem like it wasn’t my fault, point the finger, blame?

If we can’t be responsible for the small things, then why should we expect people to trust us, especially trust us with the big things?

So character, having a good trustworthy character is a number-one principle on the road on how to build trust in relationships.

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2. Consistency

People like it when they can predict other people’s behavior to some degree. Now I’m not talking about, awe, you’re so predictable.

You always take me to the same restaurant every week. I’m not talking about that kind of predictability.

In other words, are you consistent in that you say you’re gonna do something and then you follow through?

Are you a reliable person so that you show up on time when people need you there? How is your consistency?

It’s a really big issue because as you develop consistency as a habit, other people will learn that they can count on you.

So let’s do a little gut check on this. Do you show up on time when you say you’re gonna be there? Do you make your deadlines when you commit to a deadline?

I think showing up on time and deadlines are a huge indicator of your broader ability to show consistency. those are two important ways to gut-check it.

3. Authenticity

Are you relatively open about who you are in the workplace, let’s say, with other people? I’m not saying, by the way, that you have to tell people everything about you and all your dirty secrets.

I don’t recommend that because you have to get to know other people around you as well.

You don’t want to get too personal too quickly but do they get a sense of who you are and what you’re all about?

Because if we’re only in a role, if we’re only playing a professional role for example then people don’t feel like they know us.

And if they don’t feel like they know us, they’re not going to trust us over time.

People want to get to know a well-rounded version of who we are and that requires a bit of transparency.

Another way to be open on the issue of transparency is when you’re in an interaction and meeting and talking to people.

For example, are you being open about what you’re trying to accomplish or you do or do you have a lot of weird hidden agendas that are simultaneously functioning?

Like are you playing lots of politics to play some strategy game in the room when you’re talking?

If you do people will begin to sense that you’ve got a few goals in mind that maybe you’re not being open with and there’s a hidden agenda.

And you want to be open and transparent about that so on two counts. You want to be open and transparent as a person, relatively speaking.

And you certainly want to be open and transparent about what you’re trying to accomplish at the moment. So that’s tip number three on how to build trust in relationships.

4. Be a Giver, Not a Taker

Moving on to tip number four on how to build trust in relationships.

When you go into a situation, is your first tendency to think about how you can add value to the people that you’re interacting with?

Or, is your first tendency to try to get something from them? That’s a little gut check.

When I walk into a situation, ask yourself this question. Do I look to give something and be a blessing to those people or am I looking for what I can get out of the situation?

I know somebody, for example, and you probably know people like this too, who every time they talk to me, I can tell they’re trying to get something from me.

They want something and they’re looking for a way to get me to commit to something that benefits them.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation that I can remember with this person [where they have] looked for a way to help me and give me something, so to speak.

Now, I’m not talking about material objects but even in friendship and what they’re giving to the interaction.

Are they trying to get something from you or are they trying to give something to you? You want to make sure you’re a giver, not a taker.

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Final Thought

If you follow these four tips on how to build trust in relationships, you will develop strong trust in your relationships.

And on that subject, I would like to ask you which of these four principles resonates with you the most.

Which one do you think helps you move forward in your thinking and how you relate to other people? I would love to hear your comments in that section below the article.

Thanks for tuning in. God bless and I will see you in the next article.

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