It’s a critical time in the process of starting over with an ex. So, how do you reconnect after a relationship break? You need to get started on the right foot after no contact ends.
In this article, I’ll explain how to reconnect after a relationship breaks properly. Start talking to your ex again to get them back.
Before you can put the tips and strategies I’m going to talk about into practice, you do need to finish a period of relationship break.
Read Also: How to Move On From a Broken Relationship
Reconnecting After a Period of Relationship Break
For most people, that’s going to be around 30 days or so. However, sometimes you may need to go slightly shorter or longer than that depending on the situation.
If you only do a half-assed job of relationship break, you’re not going to have as much success with reconnecting and using the tips I’ll be sharing in a minute.
Texting allows you to think about what you want to say in advance. It ensures you write exactly what you want to say. You can take time to think it over.
You won’t find yourself caught off guard if your ex says something unexpected, which is a definite possibility with a phone call or in-person meeting.
Texting is also best because it’s casual and non-threatening. Since you haven’t spoken to your ex in quite a while at this point, a random phone call from you is going to come across as suspicious on your ex’s part.
They might not pick up at all. Even worried that you’re calling to try and convince them to give you another chance. Or they might just be busy when you call.
It’s just likely that calling or showing up in person will set off alarm bells or come across as too strong, so stick to texting or messaging where possible.
How to Reconnect After a Relationship Break
I will be using the 4 best rules for the first messages to your ex to explain how to reconnect after a relationship break.
When your period of no contact is over, and you’re ready to start thinking about what to say in your first message to your ex, there are a few things to keep in mind.
I can’t stress how important these tips are. You MUST follow them if you want to ensure your message is well-received.
Rule 1: Short and Sweet
Do not send your ex a lengthy text or a series of 15 texts in a row. Limit yourself to a few sentences at most. Also don’t expect or aim to use this text to open a full-blown conversation.
You’re breaking the ice here, not trying to win them back in a single message. Don’t try to do too much, and always keep it brief.
Rule 2: Positive and Fun
Do not use the initial messages to your ex after breaking up to talk about anything serious or anything related to the breakup or your relationship.
Your period of No Contact helped your ex let go of negative memories and negative aspects of your relationship.
Getting into a serious talk about things is just going to remind them of the problems that led to your breakup.
Think about it this way: if your message is likely to make your ex smile, laugh, or feel good… it’s a good message.
If it’s going to bring up any old drama, bore them, or make them suspect you’ve got ulterior motives, it’s bad.
Rule 3: Don’t Get Dragged Into Anything
If your ex replies to your first message after No Contact, you’re probably going to be pretty excited.
You may be tempted to immediately respond to their response, and start a back-and-forth conversation.
This is not something you want to do at this point. In some rare cases you may be able to respond a few times if things are going well and your ex is into it, but, this is usually not a good idea.
Whatever you do, don’t reply immediately to your ex’s messages.
If they respond to your first text right away, wait an hour or two before you respond again (if you need to reply at all).
And as we already mentioned, don’t get yourself dragged into any serious conversations or drama.
Rule 4: Have a Legitimate Reason to Contact Them
This one is the simplest, but also the most important. Don’t message your ex unless you can come up with some kind of plausible reason for contacting them.
That means you don’t want to just say “Hey how’s it going” or “What have you been up to” or anything like that.
I think that should already be obvious from the first 3 rules I already mentioned. And when I say you should have a “legitimate reason”, that doesn’t necessarily need to be difficult.
Something as simple as finding a funny meme online that your ex will appreciate is enough of a reason to message them.
Or, it can be because you have a question you think they can help answer.
You want to share an update on a situation that you talked with them about when you were together, etc. Just don’t send them a pointless message that has no real value or reason to respond.
Lastly, I should also mention that you always want to keep the overall objective of this initial contact in mind.
If you lose sight of your goal which is just to establish a bit of friendly rapport with your ex and show them how well you’re doing since the breakup.
You might be tempted to keep the conversation going, accidentally appearing too eager.
Or you might simply try to do too much too quickly and have to restart another period of No Contact for a week or two before you can try again.
Texting is great, and re-establishing a positive connection with those early messages is going to help you set the stage for an in-person meeting.
That’s when you crank up your flirting, and turn one meet-up into a second one, and then a third one where you end up back at your ex’s place for Netflix and chill…
This brought us to the end of the topic ‘how to reconnect after a relationship break’.
I hope you’ve learned enough to feel confident when messaging your ex after breaking up. And if you follow the advice I’ve covered, you’ll be in good shape.
Leave a comment below if you’ve got a quick question for me. Thank you so much for reading.
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