You and your ex girlfriend broke up a while ago, but she likes to call you when she has a new boyfriend.
Why would she do that? What does it mean? And what should you do about it? These situations require careful investigation, especially if the calls are affecting you in one way or the other.
Keep reading to find answers to why she would call you when she has a new beau.
Why Does My Ex Girlfriend Call Me When She Has a Boyfriend?
Here are possible reasons why your ex girlfriend call you when she has a boyfriend:
1. She’s Having Doubts About Her New Relationship
One possibility is that your ex is having doubts about her current relationship. Perhaps things aren’t as great as they seemed in the beginning.
The newness and excitement have worn off, and she’s starting to see her boyfriend’s flaws.
Calling you could be her way of reminiscing about the past as a distraction from problems in the present. It may also be a subconscious test to see if the grass really is greener on the other side.
Or maybe she’s looking for validation that she made the right choice in leaving you. If she provokes a jealous reaction from you, you still want her.
This boosts her confidence and reassures her that breaking up was the best decision.
2. She Wants an Ego Boost
Even if things are going well in her new relationship, exes sometimes call to get an ego boost.
Knowing you still think about her and will jump when she calls makes her feel good about herself. She may even want to make you jealous so she feels more desirable.
Your ex might be calling to prove she still has power over you and control over the situation. You’re not fully over her, but she’s totally over you.
She has moved on while you’re still stuck in the past. Rubbing this in gives her a sense of pride and confidence.
3. She Wants Attention
Maybe your ex is calling because she wants attention. She thrives on drama and emotional intensity.
A boring, stable new relationship lacks that excitement. Talking to you spices things up and satisfies her craving for attention.
Even if you don’t get back together, just having your focus and energy fixes her need for validation. She may stir up trouble to distract herself from the emptiness.
4. She Misses You
Of course, the optimistic possibility is that your ex genuinely misses you. Calling could be her way of testing the waters to see if there’s still a spark between you.
She’s curious whether old feelings could be rekindled and is reaching out to you impulsively.
Maybe she’s having second thoughts about the breakup and realizes she lost someone valuable.
She wants to talk to see if you’d be open to giving things another try. Her new relationship makes her miss what you shared even more.
5. She Wants to Be Friends
Sometimes, an ex might reach out, hoping to establish a friendship. Enough time has passed that she’s able to see you platonically.
You probably shared hobbies, interests, and fond memories she now misses.
Her call may be an attempt to let bygones be bygones. She doesn’t want any lingering awkwardness or resentment. And she’s hoping you can emotionally support each other as buddies.
Of course, transitioning from lovers to friends requires strong boundaries. Both people must be 100% over the romantic relationship and want the same type of friendship.
What Should You Do?
If your ex is contacting you immediately, proceed with caution. Take time to consider your feelings before reacting.
1. Look Inward
Examine your emotions honestly. Are old wounds fully healed? Or do you still feel hurt, anger, resentment, or jealousy?
Those feelings will distort your judgment. Make sure you’re over her completely so you can respond rationally.
2. Set Boundaries
Decide your boundaries and the type of contact you’re comfortable with. Do you want to reconcile, be friends, or cut contact completely?
You’re entitled to limit interactions in any way that protects your emotional well-being.
Enforce those boundaries firmly. If you don’t want a friendship, tell her politely but directly that you’ve moved on and would prefer no contact.
3. Consider Her Motives
Think about why she might be calling. Is it to be manipulative? Does she genuinely miss your friendship? Try to discern her agenda so you understand the context.
Ask yourself what you really want. Are you open to friendship or rekindling the romance? Or do you want distance and a fresh start?
Once you identify your goals, you can navigate the situation thoughtfully.
4. Avoid Drama
Stay calm and take the high road. Don’t get drawn into needless drama or conversations about her relationship.
Keep things friendly yet brief and redirect the discussion to neutral topics. If she tries to pull you into an argument, politely disengage.
5. Focus on the Present
Dwelling on the past or what-ifs will only lead to heartache. Don’t read too much into her call. Instead, focus on the present: the reality that she has a boyfriend while you’re single.
Accept that the relationship ran its course. Let go of any fantasies about getting back together. Initiating contact is her choice, but how you respond is yours.
6. Prioritize Emotional Health
Make taking care of yourself your top priority. Don’t do it if talking to your ex is detrimental to your mental health.
Preserve your inner peace by limiting contact. Surround yourself with people who build you up, not drag you down.
Stay strong, maintain perspective, and don’t lose sight of your self-worth. You will gain clarity on the best path forward with time and reflection.
Keep making positive choices aligned with your emotional well-being.
Having an ex pop back into your life when she’s dating someone new can be confusing. But you can handle the situation maturely by looking inward, establishing boundaries, assessing her motives, and focusing on self-care.
Aim for neutral interactions that won’t compromise your hard-won healing. Prioritizing emotional health will empower you to navigate this challenge with wisdom and move forward with optimism.
Explore more insightful relationship articles here on elizegan.com for guidance on mending broken hearts, letting go of the past, and building the love you deserve.
The first step is always looking within, so start your journey of self-discovery today.
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