As much as we hear complaints about partners finishing too fast, the opposite question arises: why does my boyfriend last so long in bed?
Marathon sex sessions often sound great in theory and fantasy. But in reality, they can leave one or both partners sore, exhausted, or frustrated if the timing is consistently off.
If your boyfriend has high stamina and delayed climax in bed, there are a few possible explanations and solutions.
Keep reading to find out!
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Why Does My Boyfriend Last So Long in Bed?
Here are possible reasons why your boyfriend last so long in bed:
1. He May Masturbate Frequently
Habitual masturbation can make it harder for guys to orgasm during s3x. Their hand’s tight grip and vigorous friction desensitizes the penis over time.
The snug fit and movement of the vagina may not stimulate him enough for fast climax.
Ask how often he masturbates and try scheduling more rest days between sessions to increase sensitivity. More foreplay may also help him get fully aroused before penetration.
2. He May Be Using a Death Grip
Like frequent masturbation, a tight “death grip” can dampen sensation and make it hard to orgasm during s3x.
If he often masturbates with an intense clenched fist, have him try using a looser grip, adding lube, switching hands, or buying a soft-grip sex toy to retrain responses.
3. He May Be Extra Thick
Guys on the thicker side may take longer to climax. The time it takes to stimulate a wider penis with friction and movement fully will naturally be greater.
Let him know you enjoy his size while also taking occasional breaks to avoid chafing. Switching positions can also help target new areas.
4. He May Be Extra Large
Similarly, an exceptionally long penis can also lead to delayed climax. With the additional surface area to cover, plus deeper penetration, reaching orgasm generally takes longer.
Vary your positions and pace to stimulate as much of his length as possible.
5. He May Be Uncircumcised
Some uncircumcised men report decreased sensation and delayed climax after foreskin removal.
The newly exposed head constantly rubs against clothing and bedsheets, leading to desensitization over time. A longer warm-up and added lube can enhance stimulation.
6. He May Be Experiencing Anxiety
Anxiety, stress, depression, and other mental blocks can make it harder for men to build up arousal, relax in the moment, and let go.
Creating an intimate, judgment-free environment plus open communication may help diminish his anxiety. If it persists, check in on his mental health.
7. He May Be On Antidepressants
Some antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications have the s3xual side effect of delayed ejaculation. Changing dosages or medications may improve function over time.
If that’s not an option, try incorporating s3x toys, vigorous oral stimulation, or fertility lubricants.
8. He May Be Taking Other Medications
Beyond mental health drugs, several medications carry s3xual side effects like prolonged climax. These include some blood pressure, prostate, and cholesterol medications.
Let his doctor know about this symptom if tweaks or alternatives are possible.
9. He May Have Pelvic Floor Dysfunction
Chronic issues like pelvic floor dysfunction, prostatitis, or urethritis cause pain and tension, making climax difficult.
Seeing a urologist or pelvic health physical therapist can provide specialized expertise and exercises for recovery.
10. He May Be Dehydrated
Hydration impacts every aspect of health, including s3xual function. With inadequate water intake, semen production slows, and the passage for ejaculation becomes thicker.
Drinking more water daily, especially several hours before 3ex, can improve fluid volume and flow.
11. He May Be Lacking Stimulation
Some men struggle to orgasm from vaginal s3x alone – they need very specific types, locations, and stimulation intensities.
Experiment together to learn his body, asking what techniques bring him closest. Clip fingernails, add lube, and consider toys to intensify sensation.
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12. He May Be Too Distracted
Like women, men can also struggle with busy brains, preventing them from being fully present during s3x.
If he tends to zone out, gently guide his focus back to the sensations of your touch. Dim lighting, music, and meditative breathing can all help calm a cluttered mind.
13. He May Have Reduced Sensitivity
Nerve damage from injuries, cardiovascular problems, neurological issues, and aging can numb sensation.
If reduced sensitivity is the culprit, incorporate toys for increased intensity and experiment with vigorous oral, manual, and external stimulation to bring him to climax.
13. He May Be Making Excuses
Rarely, some partners pretend they can’t orgasm quickly because they want s3x to end.
If your boyfriend makes no effort to understand or fix the issue, he may use it as an excuse to avoid intimacy while blaming “biology.” A serious talk is needed.
14. He May Be Overconfident
Some men develop a sense of pride or competition around stamina, wanting to last as long as possible.
But marathon sessions should be occasional treats, not every time. Check that he’s not prioritizing his ego over your comfort and satisfaction.
15. He May Require Very Specific Stimulation
Everyone has different sensory preferences for optimal arousal and climax. For some men, only an obscure combination of motions, pressures, locations, visuals, and more gets them to the peak.
Be patient, communicative, and experimental, helping him discover his recipe.
16. He May Need to Relax Pelvic Tension
Stress and anxiety can manifest physically as clenched, tight pelvic muscles. This tension then interferes with the involuntary contractions and release of orgasm.
Sensual full-body massages can help him unwind while kegels and reverse kegels strengthen his control.
17. He May Be Holding His Breath
Breath-holding is a common instinct as arousal builds, but it is counterproductive.
Rhythmic deep breathing helps circulate oxygen needed for peak excitement while triggering involuntary pelvic contractions that aid climax. Remind him to breathe steadily through the build-up.
18. He May Be Close to Climaxing
The time right before ejaculation is called “ejaculatory inevitability”- the point of no return. This threshold happens at different speeds for everyone.
Increased age, antidepressants, anxiety, alcohol, and some medical issues elevate this threshold, delaying climax. Be patient but vocal about your needs.
Read Also: Why Does My Boyfriend Attack Me With Tickles?
Final Thoughts
If your boyfriend lasts an atypically long time in bed, avoid shaming him, as that only amplifies performance anxiety.
Instead, come from a place of collaboration and caring – you’re a team exploring solutions together.
With open communication, foreplay, experimentation, medical checks, and therapeutic tools, you can hopefully narrow in on the factors impacting his s3xual response and find the balance that satisfies you both.
While a longer-than-average time to ejaculate can be frustrating, it may also present new opportunities for you to reach multiple peaks of your own before his finale.
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