If your boyfriend likes to attack or surprise you with tickles, especially if it’s too frequent, you may want to know why?
Tickling can be a fun and playful way for couples to bond and connect. However, sometimes it can go too far and feel more like an attack than just harmless fun.
If your boyfriend tends to take the tickling too far, to the point where you feel uncomfortable or upset, there are likely some underlying reasons behind this behavior.
Explore why your boyfriend likes to attack you with tickles and how to handle the situation.
Why Does My Boyfriend Attack Me With Tickles?
Here are ten reasons why your boyfriend enjoys to attack you with tickles:
1. He Enjoys Having Power and Control
For some men, tickling their girlfriends gives them power and control. When you are laughing uncontrollably, it puts him in charge of your body and reactions in that moment.
This feeling of dominance can be thrilling for some guys, even if they don’t consciously realize that’s what’s behind it.
If this seems to be the case, have an open discussion about taking turns being the “tickler” and the “ticklee” so you both get to experience each role.
2. He Lacks Boundary Awareness
Your boyfriend may not realize that his tickling has gone from playful to uncomfortable for you.
Some people struggle with reading social cues and body language that indicate when another person has had enough.
Give direct verbal feedback like “Ok, that’s too much tickling for me” and see if that helps set a boundary.
3. He Confuses Tickling and Teasing for Flirting
For some couples, tickling and teasing are part of their flirty banter. Your boyfriend may think you enjoy this type of flirting, even if you don’t like being tickled to excess.
Have an honest chat about other flirty behaviors you appreciate so he understands your boundaries.
4. He Has a Tickling Fetish
Believe it or not, tickling fetishes are quite common. Some people are sexually aroused by the act of tickling or being tickled.
If your boyfriend seems very focused on tickling during sexual situations, he may have a tickling fetish.
Discuss whether you are comfortable participating in this or not. If not, set clear guidelines for what is allowed.
5. It’s His Way of Initiating Sex
Some couples use tickling and wrestling as a form of foreplay before sex. Your boyfriend may see tickling as a way to get you laughing and pent up with sexual tension before you transition into other intimate activities.
Check if this is the case by noticing when the tickling usually leads to more. If you aren’t in the mood, give him direct signals like “Let’s take a break from the tickling for now.”
6. He Finds Your Laughter Adorable
Hearing their girlfriend laugh can be extremely endearing for boyfriends who are very much in love.
When you laugh and squeal from his tickling, it likely gives him strong feelings of affection.
But remind him that you can share laughter in many other ways that don’t involve uncomfortable tickling attacks.
7. He’s Trying to Get a Reaction Out of You
Some guys tickle their partner simply because they want attention and a reaction. When you’re intensely responding to his tickling, it gives him the interaction and feedback he craves.
Notice if he does it most when you’re busy or focused on something else. Politely ask for his attention in other ways when you’re preoccupied.
8. He Wants to Create Physical Closeness
Physical touch and closeness is an important part of intimacy in most relationships.
Your boyfriend may initiate tickling because having prolonged physical contact with you fulfils his need for closeness.
Discuss other ways you enjoy being physically close, like hugging, holding hands, or cuddling.
9. He’s Feeling Insecure in the Relationship
Excessive tickling can sometimes stem from a place of insecurity. He may worry about losing you or the strength of your bond.
The intensity of tickling allows him to feel connected to you for a moment. Make sure to regularly reassure him of your commitment and affection in other ways.
10. He Doesn’t Realize It Actually Bothers You
Lastly, your boyfriend may not understand that you don’t enjoy the extensive tickling, even if it seems “obvious” to you.
Some people are thicker-skinned, while others are more sensitive. Ensure you directly but gently tell him your true feelings, and give him a chance to adjust his behavior.
Read Also: Why Does My Boyfriend Twitch in His Sleep?
Solutions for Unwanted Tickling
If your boyfriend’s tickling has become problematic, there are some solutions you can try to set boundaries while still keeping your relationship playful.
1. Be Clear in Your Communication
First and foremost, use “I feel…” statements to explain your perspective. Say something like “I feel overwhelmed and irritated when you tickle me for a long time.” Being candid but calm opens productive discussion.
2. Set Parameters
Agree on a time limit for tickling like 1-2 minutes. Or designate certain body parts like feet or arms as off-limits. Having rules in place prevents it going too far.
3. Use a Safe Word
Come up with a silly safe word you can use when you want the tickling to stop immediately. This gives you an instant out. Make sure he agrees to respect the safe word.
4. Try Alternatives
Suggest other ways to be playful and laugh together, like dancing, pillow fights, or back rubs. Meet his need for fun interaction without unwanted tickling.
5. Walk Away
Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from the situation physically. Say “I’m going to step away for a bit to show this is crossing my boundaries.” Enforcing consequences gets the message across.
6. Use Humor
Joke about being a “tickle monster” or challenge him to a “no tickling” contest. Adding lighthearted humor can defuse tension.
But make sure he still understands the serious underlying message.
7. Get Counseling
If he is unwilling to compromise or respect your requests, seek professional help. A counselor can mediate the discussion and hold him accountable.
8. Protect Yourself
In extreme cases of sexual tickling, you don’t consent to, you may have to block him physically or even leave the relationship for your safety and well-being.
Establishing open communication, healthy boundaries and mutual understanding is key. Tickling should be a mutually desired form of play, not a source of anxiety.
You deserve to feel comfortable setting limits on unwanted tickling from your boyfriend.
While occasional playful tickling can be fun for couples, ongoing tickle attacks can be problematic and upsetting.
Unwanted tickling from your boyfriend could stem from power dynamics, boundary issues, miscommunication, etc.
Make sure to directly but compassionately express your feelings and needs. With effort, understanding and compromise from both people, you can find healthier ways to laugh and play together in your relationship.
Explore more relationship tips and advice on Elizegan.com.
Signs a Man Truly Loves You When in a Relationship
Amazing Things to Do to Keep Your Relationship Strong
Is Your Relationship Failing? 9 Simple Steps to Save It
Things a Strong Woman Should Never Do in a Relationship
The Component of a Healthy Relationship (5 Most Essential)