What do you do when you don’t want a relationship but do want s3x? Most people start a friends-with-benefits style of relationship. So, what’re the friends with benefits rules to live by? Find out.
Nowadays, it is possible to find someone who doesn’t want anything serious but is also happy with just having s3x. This can be done without dating sites or apps, although those are options.
People hook up with their friends regularly without commitment, and friends with benefits are formed. Sometimes there would be some verbal agreements to this, and often there aren’t.
It is not the most healthy type of relationship to enter into, but it could work with two consenting adults and some rules.
Find out the rules to protect yourself from getting hurt or catching feelings in a friends with benefits relationship.
Friends With Benefits Rules to Live By
If you’re looking for no-strings-attached hookups or friends with benefits (FWBs), here are a few friends with benefits rules to help you get started:
1. No Relationship Talk
The first rule of friends with benefits is that there are no “relationship” talks. You should never ask questions like, “Where do we go from here?” or “What does this mean for us?”
It also means that you should never make comments like, “I’m falling for you!” or “I love spending time with you.”
It’s best to keep things casual and not discuss where you see the relationship going or how serious you feel about each other.
This will only complicate matters and make it more difficult for you to let go when the time comes (which it will).
2. No Feelings Allowed
This is the biggest rule of all. If you’re going to have a friends-with-benefits relationship, you absolutely cannot get emotionally attached to each other — or your friendship will be ruined forever.
You must make this clear at the beginning of the relationship so that both parties understand that there are no expectations beyond s3x.
This way, if things go south, there won’t be any hurt feelings or awkwardness over what happened between the two of you, this is considered one of the sacred rules of friends with benefits.
3. No Getting Attached
It’s hard not to get attached in a relationship where sex is involved (if it’s not hard for you, then clearly you’re doing something wrong), but it needs to be avoided at all costs if you want your friendship to last long term.
If one person starts getting attached and wants more than just sex from their friend with a benefits partner, they need to end things immediately.
4. No Jealousy
One thing that will ensure your friend with benefits relationship lasts is if both parties are completely comfortable with it.
If one person gets jealous when seeing the other with another, the relationship will never work out.
Ensure both parties understand this is just a physical relationship, not an emotional one.
5. No Drama
This should be obvious, but it needs to be said: no drama! There should be no emotional attachment and expectations beyond what was originally agreed upon.
If one person starts getting upset over something that happened in bed, you know it’s time to end things.
6. Have Fun
Enjoy each other’s company and have a good time together. The point is that you like each other enough to have sex regularly — if you don’t enjoy each other’s company, then why would you keep having s3x?
And remember: Friends with benefits relationships are no less serious than any others; if someone breaks up with their partner because they want more from them than friendship or vice versa, then their feelings were probably there anyway.
7. No PDA
It doesn’t matter if you’re dating or married; some things should never happen in front of your friends and family — and this is one of them!
Keep your hands to yourself, and don’t let things get too heated in front of others.
It’s embarrassing and can ruin your reputation and make other people think less of you both as individuals and as a couple.
8. No Lovey-Dovey Nicknames
If you hook up with someone regularly, don’t call them by their first name. It’s best to keep things professional so that others don’t know what’s happening between the two of you.
9. No Official Status
Don’t make any commitment or mention anything about the future until after your first few hookups — and even then, keep it vague!
The last thing either of you wants is for things to go sour because one person starts getting clingy or overly attached.
10. No Staying Over at Each Other’s Places
No staying over at each other’s places. This is tricky because it can be hard to say no when your partner asks you to spend the night.
But think of it this way: You don’t want a friend with benefits to become anything more than that.
And if they start spending the night at your place, it’s not long before they start thinking of themselves as your boyfriend or girlfriend. Then things can get complicated.
11. Don’t Bring Up Exes or Past Relationships
It’s a huge mistake to bring up past relationships at the beginning of your FWB relationship. The reason being is that you don’t want to set up any expectations.
If you talk about a previous relationship, make sure it’s in the context of how you learned from that experience and what you have learned about yourself.
12. Don’t Be Too Clingy
You may feel an emotional connection, but try not to get too attached so quickly.
It is normal for people to have feelings for each other after spending time together, but don’t rush things because it will lead to heartbreak later on down the road when things inevitably end between you.
If you want to be friends with benefits, be open and up-front about your intentions. Do not play games or trick the other person into sleeping with them.
If you’re looking for something casual and fun, make sure it’s clear from the beginning that you’re not looking for a relationship.