Talking about your past relationship can be difficult, especially if you and your partner are still new in a relationship.
However, open communication is essential, and discussing your past can strengthen your relationship.
This article covers why people want to talk about their prior relationships and some important ways to discuss them with your partner to help them understand.
Let’s dive right in.
How to Talk About a Past Relationship & Not Piss Your Partner Off
If you’re in a new relationship, there may be things from your past that you’re not ready to share with your partner. But at some point, you’ll likely need to talk about your past relationships.
Here are some tips for how to do so without making your partner angry:
1. Be Honest About Why You’re Talking About Your Past
If you’re bringing up old relationships because you’re feeling insecure or jealous, your partner will likely pick up on that and feel defensive.
Instead, be honest about why you want to talk about your past – whether to give them a better understanding of who you are or to get it off your chest.
2. Don’t Dwell on the Negative
It’s natural to want to focus on the negative aspects of past relationships when talking about them with a new partner.
But if you only ever focus on the bad times, your partner may start to wonder what you’re hiding.
Try to balance your stories, and don’t dwell on the wrong parts for too long. It also shows growth when you talk about your exes without scorn but a learning phase in your life.
3. Avoid Making Comparisons
It’s natural to want to compare your current relationship to your past one but resist the urge. That will only make your partner feel like they’re being judged and could make them angry.
Instead state import fact like how much you have grown and what you learnt from from being with your ex.
4. Be Respectful
Even though you’re no longer in that relationship, there’s no need to badmouth your ex. Speak respectfully about them and your shared history.
Your partner would not see you in a good light if you were spiteful.
Remember someone treating you badly doesn’t write them off as horrible, that was just their poor treatment of you. It’s not right but it doesn’t mean they can’t be good in the future.
5. Communicate Effectively
If you’re unsure how your partner will react to what you want to say, have a conversation beforehand with a trusted friend.
This way, you can express yourselves and agree on how to handle the conversation.
State relevant and important details only, there is no need to go through your sexcapades or wild erotic thrills.
6. Focus on the Present
Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on the present and how happy you are with your current partner.
That will help diffuse any anger or hurt feelings that might come up when you’re talking about your past relationship.
There should be reasons why you are telling your partner about your past relationships so stay on tract.
Things You Should Never Tell Your Partner From Your Past Relationship
It’s natural to want to talk about your past relationships with your current partner.
However, there are some things that you should never say if you don’t want to make them angry. Here are a few things to avoid:
- Don’t compare your current partner to anyone from your past. That is a surefire way to make them feel insecure and will only lead to arguments.
- Don’t badmouth your exes. That will only make your partner think that you’re still not over them and will make them question why you’re with them in the first place.
- Try not to bring up old arguments or fights. That will only remind them of the negative aspects of your past relationship and will make them uncomfortable.
- Avoid talking about sensitive topics that you know will upset them. If there are certain subjects that you know will trigger an argument, it’s best to avoid them altogether.
By following these tips, you can avoid making your partner angry when talking about your past relationship.
Is It Necessary to Discuss My Past Relationship?
No, discussing your past relationship with your partner is not necessary.
If you feel like it is something you need to do to move on, you can discuss it with a therapist or a close friend.
However, if you think talking about your past relationship will only make your partner angry, then it is best to keep the conversation to yourself.
It can be challenging to talk about your past relationships with your current partner, but it is essential to be honest with them if you want the relationship to last.
You can do a few things to make sure the conversation goes smoothly, such as being respectful of your previous partners and not dwelling on the negative aspects of the relationship.
If you take the time to discuss your past relationships openly and honestly with your current partner, you will be able to build a stronger foundation for your future together.
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