You’ve just met someone new and you can’t stop thinking about them. Their face lights up your day and the sound of their voice fills you with joy. But are these signs of infatuation or the real thing?
It’s always best to know because infuation can be unhealthy at the same thing you may just have met your one true love or soulmate.
In this post, we will discuss the signs of infatuation and how to know if your feelings are merely temporary or something deeper.
What is Infatuation?
Infatuation is the initial feeling of attraction one has towards another person upon first meeting them.
It involves an intense but short-term passion or admiration for someone, especially someone perceived as a romantic interest.
Infatuation develops and occurs very quickly, often based more on physical attraction and fantasy rather than reality.
The biology behind infatuation involves a spike in activity in the areas of the brain related to pleasure, reward, and motivation.
Key neurotransmitters like dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin promote intense feelings of excitement and motivation to pursue romance.
However, unlike love, infatuation is not based on truly knowing another person and may be due more to physical or superficial attraction alone.
Common Signs of Infatuation
Here are some common signs that what you’re feeling is likely infatuation rather than love:
With infatuation comes idealization – you view the other person through rose-colored glasses, only seeing their best qualities and ignoring any flaws or imperfections.
You imagine they are perfect for you and obsess over small details about them. However, this idealized image is not grounded in reality or truly knowing who they are.
2. Intense Emotions
The feelings of infatuation are overwhelmingly strong but also unstable.
Intense emotions like excitement, passion, longing, and obsession can change quickly to their opposites such as jealousy, disappointment, or detachment.
The highs and lows are extreme. Love is also passionate but in a more calming, stable way.
3. Not Thinking Clearly
When infatuated, logical and rational thinking goes out the window. You may not listen to what the other person is saying, only hearing what you want.
Small actions on their part are obsessively analyzed. Objectivity and a balanced perspective are lacking.
4. Fantasy Not Reality
With infatuation comes fantasy – you obsess over unlikely scenarios and ideal outcomes that are unrealistic.
You fantasize constantly about romance and a perfect future together before truly getting to know them.
However, love forms on the foundation of real experiences, conversations, and depth of understanding between two people.
5. Physical Attraction Dominates
Infatuation focuses heavily on physical and sexual attraction and chemistry over other important compatibility factors.
While looks play a role, love is not predicated on physical attraction alone and involves the compatibility of personalities, values, and life goals.
6. Need for Constant Contact
The infatuated person often feels an intense need to constantly communicate and be with the object of their interest.
They may become clingy, possessive, and obsessive in trying to get the attention of the other. However, true love involves a healthy level of independence within the relationship.
7. Quick Onset
While the chemistry and sparks of love can happen quickly, infatuation is marked by an extremely fast onset within days or even just one meeting.
However, love usually forms more gradually as two people get to know each other’s character and share meaningful experiences over time.
If several of these signs ring true in your situationship, you may have simply developed a crush or bout of infatuation rather than actual love.
However, infatuation can potentially lead to love if handled healthily and you take the time to truly get to know the other person.
Handling Infatuation Healthily
So you’ve realized you may just be infatuated – now what? Here are some tips for dealing with infatuation in a healthy, low-risk way:
1. Take Things Slowly
Resist the urge to rush into intense commitment, intimacy, or entanglements.
Go slowly when getting to know this person to allow infatuation’s intense emotions to naturally subside over time versus acting impulsively.
2. Maintain Your Independence
Continue spending quality time with other friends, pursue your hobbies and interests, and avoid giving up your daily routine and independence for constant togetherness.
Healthy space allows infatuation feelings room to evolve into something more profound.
3. See the Whole Person
Fight idealization by noting this person’s flaws or imperfections too rather than only their best qualities.
Ask others about their full personality rather than filtering information through infatuation lenses. Work on seeing them objectively versus through fantasy.
4. Balance Emotion with Logic
Don’t let feelings override rational thinking. Question unrealistic scenarios and analyze compatibility factors objectively like values, interests, and communication styles versus only passionate sparks.
Make level-headed rather than rash decisions.
5. Get to Know Them Deeply
Focus conversations on learning who they truly are versus superficial details. Discuss meaning, purpose, hopes, and struggles and build emotional intimacy.
Infatuation fades as you experience depth together versus physicality alone.
6. Maintain Other Fulfilling Areas of Life
Pursue existing friendships and hobbies so your self-esteem and happiness aren’t solely tied to this new person.
Infatuation wanes as you strengthen other rewarding areas of life versus a singular focus on them.
By recognizing infatuation for what it is and handling it carefully, you set the stage for your feelings to either remain platonic or deepen into something profound if true compatibility exists between you.
But patience and healthy detachment are key to allowing reality and longevity to set in.
How Long Does Infatuation Usually Last?
On average, infatuation follows around 3 months before usually subsiding or transforming.
However, the duration can vary based on individual, circumstances and whether infatuation is reinforced or reality is faced.
How Long Does Infatuation Usually Last?
For infatuation to transition to love, there needs to be an ongoing process of genuinely getting to know the other person beyond a surface level.
Love requires seeing both imperfections and qualities while still caring deeply.
Compatibility of values, communication, and shared experiences are also signs infatuation matured into something stable versus infatuation’s instability.
Can You Fall in Love After Infatuation?
Absolutely. If infatuation is handled carefully by not rushing into commitment and instead truly learning about each other’s character and compatibility slowly over time, then the foundation can be built for love.
Just be cautious of red flags and don’t ignore incompatibility due to intense feelings alone.
How Do I Know the Difference Between a Crush and Love?
A crush or infatuation is based more on idealization and physical or superficial attraction alone.
Love goes deeper to encompass truly understanding another’s mind and soul through open communication.
Love is a choice involving respect, trust, and prioritizing a partner’s well-being, not just intense emotions. Compromise and commitment over time also define love.
infatuation is a natural part of the romantic experience that can potentially blossom into love – or remain just a fleeting crush.
But approaching new relationships with patience, independence, rationality versus rushed commitment helps ensure infatuation doesn’t cloud better judgment.
With care and maturity, those intoxicating early sparks just may light the long-lasting fire of love.
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