Have you been seriously thinking about the best ways on how to break up with someone you once loved? And you have been, racking your brains, thinking if to break up or not with your present partner.
The thought of breaking up is not only painful, but it also leaves a big wound and a scar on one’s heart. It’s a moment whereby almost everything suddenly turns sour.
And you are at the crossroad, thinking how would you break up with someone you once loved and had something wonderful with at a particular point in time?
We have all been there at one point in time or another. And I can tell it’s so painful especially when one least expects it. But well, life goes on!
Almost all romantic relationships, started off in a very thrilling and exciting manner. In the sense that, you wanted to spend almost all your hours speaking with this person you are in love with.
You want to see them as often as possible. You want to spend hours chatting with them over the phone. And you both cannot seem to have enough of each other, etc.
The feeling of going steady in a relationship, for most people can go on for a period of 3months, or 6months, or a year and a half, or a period of two (2) years, etc.
This duration would be before the relationship starts getting sour and eventually bitter and you both cannot stand the sight of each other anymore.
And the one, who is bolder or less tolerant would opt for the option of breaking up and ending the whole affair.
Your reason for wanting to end it might be because, you and your once upon a time Sweetheart, had either drifted apart or perhaps, it’s due to work or maybe other pressing situations that you both couldn’t really handle.
Or you both are now, more like Tom and Jerry and you fight or argue about little small things, that you once overlooked before.
Or you may/might have found someone else whom you think would bring you fulfillment in the long run.
It could also be because you just want to be alone for the main time to find more about who you are.
Or your family suddenly does not like you being around your present girlfriend/boyf, because they think they are not the best for you.
That’s so sad if it being the case. It had happened that a lot of relationships ended because of family acceptance.
However, maybe you feel and think you are emotionally so immature and you just need to groom yourself to be a better partner.
Or you think and feel they deserve better, therefore the need for a breakup.
Or you think you don’t see yourself settling down in a few year’s time, so you have to be good enough not to waste your Partner’s time.
Hence, you decide on a breakup, thinking it’s the best for the both of you.
The above list is endless. Your wanting to break up with your present partner might not even be among the general reasons above.
But even at that, you just need to do it in a loving way, by putting yourself in your partner’s shoes and all.
Most people, break up with someone they once loved in so many different ways. Some ways are good, whereas some ways are so not cool.
Some might heal quickly from the hurt and breakup, by moving on quickly with their lives and other activities.
Whereas, some partners might feel so heartbroken, very cold, and would want to have lifetime revenge. On the next boyfriend or girlfriend that comes along after the breakup.
All this depends on how well, the dumper which is you, handles the whole break-up process.
Hence, in order not to get it all wrong when you intend to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
The following are the simple step-by-step procedure, to follow on how to break up with someone you once loved;
1. Sit down and think it over.
By sitting down to think extensively about the reasons for your wanting to break up with your partner.
Would really help with making you pinpoint the real reasons behind your wanting to break up with him/her.
And be single for the time being or move on with someone else you feel you are happier or would be fulfilled with.
2. Talk extensively with someone you trust about your thoughts of breaking up
Endeavor to talk to perhaps your best friend, or your mum, or any of your older siblings about how you are feeling.
And thoughts you are having about breaking up. They would assist in bringing up nice, soothing suggestions on ways to handle the breakup procedures.
And ways to go about it, so that things don’t get so bad or worse than they already are at the moment.
Your friends or close pals would have had similar experiences. And would suggest to you what they did right or things they did wrong when they broke up with their exes.
That way, you can apply it to yours or do it differently and in a mature manner as well.
3. Don’t break up over phone calls, or through text messages.
In order to respect yourself and be mature about it, you’ve got to be civil enough.
And not break up with your once upon a time Sweetheart over any social channel of communication.
You have to endeavor, to tell your partner you need to see them face-to-face. In order to talk about something very important with them. And that you wouldn’t want it to be over the phone, etc.
The suggestion above might be very hard for most individuals. But it’s the right thing to do.
4. Have an extensive talk with your partner.
After you might have decided on the things to say to the person you once loved.
And also figuring out how to break up with him/her, you can then invite them. Anywhere you both will feel comfortable. But be sure the place isn’t your apartment or his/hers.
But a place that is open, and not overly crowded, and you both can sit across each other and talk, by trashing things out more civilly.
5. Be very certain to keep your emotions together.
The thought of looking at your once upon sweetheart eyes and telling them to his/her face, that you are no longer interested in having a romantic relationship with them.
Or you now feel uncomfortable being around them is a blow not everyone can withstand.
And in the moments of telling your boy/girlfriend who would soon be your ex that, you feel you both should move on with your lives.
Brings a thousand and one emotions trooping in all at once like an avalanche of melting ice.
It’s sometimes very emotional because, at that moment, you will start feeling perhaps you made a wrong decision and should reconsider going back on your words.
And would want to get all comfy again without standing your ground on moving on finally for your sake and your’re soon ex sakes.
You should never allow your feelings to get hold of you. Be definite, and stern on your decision.
But do not be harsh or mean with your words, for if you are. It will get you soon to be an ex very angry. And he or she might want to start throwing tantrums at you in a public place. Therefore creating a scene and all.
This should not be allowed to happen. Hence keep your emotions in check.
6. Make your partner know why it’s best for you both to move on.
This is also a painful part. Because you need to be certain not to say certain things that would make your soon-to-be-ex, freak out or start cursing you.
You need to be wise about the things you have to say, and be calm about them. When saying the reasons why you think you both should move on.
Be careful not to sound like you’re sorry for him/her or that you think you both ain’t compatible.
Never ever make anyone feel you are too better than they are. Or you don’t see yourself being with them or having a concrete solid relationship with them.
7. Endeavour not to bring up old wrongs done by your partner.
You are about dumping someone, yet you feel you need to open an old can of worms.
About all the wrongs they ever did wrong in the past, while in the relationship with you. Come on!!! This is so wrong and shouldn’t be done.
No one is perfect, even at that, in the process of breaking up, you should never rub all your partners wrong on their faces.
You will only make the process of breaking up very hard. Because they would want to start arguing.
And making you feel like you’re unforgiving and inhumane for wanting to dumb them.
Hence, leave old wrong deeds in the past. And be brief in fact, very brief about why you both need to move on, and be apart from each other.
8. Never speak ill about your ex to others.
Yeah, breakups are hard. It makes your heart heavy with so much anger, resentment, and bitterness.
And it’s even much worse if you’re the dumpee. You feel like a loser and a failure who cannot keep his/her affairs together.
No matter what, you and your ex might have decided on. And eventually thought of moving on for good.
Endeavor never to go about talking with everyone that comes along about the bad sides of your ex.
Most times, you might be tempted to. But endeavor for your own happiness and peace of mind in the long run.
By going about, telling anyone what lead to the breakup and how such a terrible person your partner was to you, and all.
Always remember, that when the going was so good and you were so in love with him/her, you found them to be the most loving, and the best thing that has happened to you in a romantic relationship.
Therefore, when things didn’t go so well as you had planned and hoped for in either the short or long run. That shouldn’t make you think and feel your ex is now such a terrible person.
Remember, as well that when most folks who knew the both of you together start asking questions?? In most cases, is not like most of them really care about you like that.
They are only looking for things you would say that would help them build upon gossip, to start talking about your break up and make fun of you.
Hence, you should never discuss your breaking up with someone you once loved with those who are not really trusted or in your circle of friends and family members.