Finding out your boyfriend smokes cigarettes can be upsetting if you don’t smoke yourself, but why does it bother you so much?
You may feel annoyed or disappointed whenever you see him light up. Smoking is a natural habit for some people, while others find it off-putting.
As a partner to someone who smokes, you can be expected to accept his traits. However, when you can’t seem to get along with this, getting to the issue’s root is essential.
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Why Does It Bother Me That My Boyfriend Smokes Cigarettes?
Here are some common reasons why it bother you that your boyfriend smokes cigarettes:
1. You’re Concerned About His Health
First and foremost, you likely worry about the impacts of smoking on his health. As his caring girlfriend, it’s natural to want him to be healthy and avoid preventable risks like lung cancer, heart disease, and other conditions cigarettes can cause.
You may cringe imagining him still smoking decades from now and dread the thought of losing him early to a smoking-related illness. Your discomfort comes from a place of love and concern.
2. You Dislike the Smell
Let’s be honest: cigarette smoke smells gross. As a non-smoker, the stench likely makes you feel nauseous or gives you headaches. Even the scent lingering on his clothes and car can be nauseating.
Whenever your boyfriend comes in from a smoke break, you’re turned off by the odor. You don’t want to kiss or cuddle someone who reeks of an ashtray. The smell is a big annoyance you wish you could avoid.
3. You Don’t Want Secondhand Smoke
Inhaling secondhand cigarette smoke poses health risks to you, too. When your boyfriend smokes around you, such as in the car, at home, or out socially, it can be hard to avoid breathing in the toxins.
You likely worry about effects like lung irritation, asthma, and even cancer. It’s understandable to be frustrated when someone else’s habit jeopardizes your health.
4. You Feel Left Out
Watching your boyfriend head outside to smoke makes you feel excluded. You have to sit there and wait for him to finish. It disrupts conversations and interactions when he disappears for smoke breaks.
Plus, his smoking buddies now have shared experiences with him that you don’t. You want to be included in all aspects of your life, so smoking separates you in a subtle but real way.
5. It’s a Drain on Finances
Cigarettes are expensive! When your boyfriend shells out cash multiple times per day for a pack, that’s less money going towards dates, travel, and your shared future.
You likely wish he would spend that money on something more meaningful than fueling an unhealthy addiction. Seeing what he wastes on smoking can be infuriating.
6. It Clashes with Your Values
You probably pride yourself on living a healthy, smoke-free lifestyle. Watching your boyfriend engage in a dirty and unhealthy habit clashes with your values.
It may make you view him as less driven or disciplined than initially thought. You wonder if his smoking readiness reveals differences between your willpower and health concerns.
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7. It’s Linked to Past Pain
If a close family member died from smoking-related causes, your boyfriend lighting up may resurface that trauma.
Or perhaps an ex of yours who smoked caused you pain. Smelling that cigarette smoke and seeing the habit in action again brings up difficult memories.
Even if you know your boyfriend isn’t your ex, smoking strikes an emotional chord and makes you uneasy due to those associations.
Tips for Coping with a Smoker Boyfriend
Discovering your boyfriend’s smoking bothers you and raises relationship challenges. Here are some healthy ways to deal with the issue:
- Tell him politely but firmly how you feel about his smoking and why. Avoid lecturing, but help him understand where you are coming from.
- Compromise when and where he can smoke so you limit exposure to the smell and secondhand smoke.
- Request he chew gum or wash his hands and mouth after smoking before kissing you.
- Ask him to reduce his cigarette intake gradually and set a quit date. Offer your support in kicking the habit when he’s ready.
- If his smoking is a dealbreaker, don’t expect you’ll be able to change him. Accept this part of him or reflect on whether you’re ultimately incompatible.
- Be patient, but maintain your boundaries. Don’t let secondhand smoke, smells, or exclusion from his smoker friends negatively impact your happiness.
- Remember, he made this choice before meeting you. Try not to take his smoking personally, even when you find it unpleasant.
- Focus on your boyfriend’s positive qualities and keep communicating kindly about handling this challenge as a team. With mutual understanding, you can get through it!
Many more articles on elizegan.com explore the ups and downs of relationships. Be sure to check back for more insightful relationship advice and tips!
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