Conflict is inherent in any relationship, but it can span for several reasons if your boyfriend likes to walk out when you argue with him.
Everyone argues in a relationship at some point, but walking out instead of working through issues presents unique challenges.
Understanding this behavior will help uncover some dynamics in your relationship. Also, it is the first step toward resolving conflicts more healthily.
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Why Does My Boyfriend Walk Out When We Argue?
Here are 10 potential reasons your boyfriend may walk out when you argue:
1. He Needs Time To Cool Down
For some people, removing themselves from an argument is the only way they know how to de-escalate intense emotions.
Your boyfriend may walk out because he needs space to process his feelings before discussing issues productively.
Give him a predetermined amount of time to cool off, then reconvene to discuss the conflict calmly.
2. He Struggles With Communication
If your boyfriend never learned healthy communication skills, walking away may be the only option he thinks is available.
This behavior often stems from a lack of emotional intelligence and self-awareness rather than a desire to avoid problems.
Encourage him to develop active listening and assertive communication techniques together.
3. He Feels Invalidated
Your boyfriend may storm out if he feels you’re not truly listening, understanding, or validating his perspective during arguments.
Make an effort to restate his feelings in your own words and acknowledge any legitimate concerns he expresses.
Ask how you can better communicate respect and care for his thoughts and needs.
4. To Assert Control
Sometimes, a partner who walks out during disagreements may attempt to gain the upper hand or have the last word.
Pay attention to whether your boyfriend uses walking away as a power move rather than for a genuine need for space.
Refusing to engage in discussions where one partner attempts to leverage control is often wise.
5. He Grew Up In A Volatile Home
Witnessing or experiencing frequent, unhealthy conflict as a child can condition someone to view arguing or negative emotions as unsafe.
Your boyfriend may instinctively remove himself from disagreements as a coping mechanism learned from his upbringing.
He can unlearn this pattern over time with patience, reassurance, and modeling.
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6. To Avoid Responsibility
By walking out, your boyfriend can avoid dealing with problems in your relationship head-on.
This behavior often stems from a fear of vulnerability, a lack of accountability, or immaturity regarding commitment.
Open, honest communication – including during disagreements – is essential for any healthy relationship to thrive.
7. Anger Management Issues
If your boyfriend tends to get angry easily and has trouble controlling his temper, storming out may manifest anger problems.
Encourage him to seek help from a therapist who can teach coping skills and emotional regulation techniques.
8. Past Hurt Or Trauma
Unresolved issues from your boyfriend’s past could cause arguments or negative emotions to bring up unprocessed hurt and trauma.
Suggest therapy to help him work through these experiences so they no longer dictate his reactions and behaviors in your relationship.
9. Resentment Has Built Up
When issues or grievances remain unaddressed for a long time, resentment can build up within a partner until it reaches a boilover point.
Your boyfriend may walk out with an explosive release of this pent-up negative energy.
Commit to openly and consistently communicating your needs, wants, and feelings to avoid letting resentment fester.
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Handling The Situation if Your Boyfriend Walk Out When You Argue?
Here are some ways you can approach your boyfriend with empathy and support during conflicts:
- Listen actively without interrupting. Focus on understanding his perspective, feelings, and needs.
- Make “I” statements to convey your own experience in a non-judgmental way. For example, “I felt hurt when you walked out mid-argument.”
- Acknowledge and validate his emotions. Say things like “I can see this issue makes you really frustrated.” Avoid dismissing or minimizing how he feels.
- Restate his feelings and concerns in your own words to show you’re truly listening and understand. Ask for clarification if needed.
- Avoid accusatory language like “you always…” Focus on the specifics of the current conflict, not past arguments.
- Express care and concern for him, separate from your disagreement. Say something like “I care about you and us as a couple.”
- Be willing to apologize and take responsibility if your words or actions contributed to the argument. Model vulnerability.
- Offer reassurance that you value him and want to overcome this conflict as a team. “We’ve gotten through hard times before and can do it again.”
- Suggest taking a break if tensions are high, then come back to discuss when emotions have calmed.
- Propose alternative conflict styles you both agree are healthy, like talking it through, writing letters, or seeing a mediator.
- Remind him of aspects you admire and love about him, unrelated to your disagreement. Your bond runs deeper.
- If he walks out again, give him space but later revisit the conflict calmly and constructively.
Focus on understanding rather than being understood. With patience, empathy, and communication, you can work through challenges as a united partnership that grows stronger through adversity.
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Final Thoughts
You can overcome relationship challenges like frequent arguing through understanding, patience, and open communication.
Approach your boyfriend from a place of empathy and support, then work together to build healthier conflict communication techniques based on listening, validating, and understanding each other’s perspectives.
Check out more articles on Elizegan.com for additional tips on strengthening your connection by working through disagreements in loving, constructive ways.
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