Why Does My Alcoholic Boyfriend Push Me Away?

Being in a relationship with an alcoholic boyfriend can be challenging, especially when they repeatedly push you away.

It is important to remember that alcoholism is a complex issue with multifaceted factors.

In this article, we will explore potential reasons why your alcoholic boyfriend may exhibit behaviors that push you away, shedding light on the dynamics underlying his actions.

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Why Does My Alcoholic Boyfriend Push Me Away?

Why Does My Alcoholic Boyfriend Push Me Away?

If your alcoholic boyfriend push you away constantly, here are reasons why he acts in such a manner:

1. Fear of Vulnerability

Persons who abuse alcohol often struggle with shame, guilt, and low self-esteem. They may push their loved ones away to protect themselves from emotional pain and potential rejection.

By distancing themselves, they believe they can avoid exposing their vulnerabilities and shield themselves from perceived judgment or disappointment.

2. Self-Isolation

Alcoholism can be an isolating disease. Your boyfriend may distance himself from you to create a barrier between his addiction and your presence.

He might feel that by pushing you away, he is sparing you from the impact of his addiction and the potential chaos it brings.

3. Fear of Abandonment

Deep-seated insecurities and fear of abandonment can plague individuals struggling with addiction.

Your boyfriend may believe he is unworthy of love and that you will eventually leave him due to alcoholism.

To regain control and protect himself from future pain, he may push you away as a self-defense mechanism.

4. Guilt and Shame

Those addicted to alcohol often experience intense guilt and shame surrounding their addiction.

They may believe that they are causing harm to their loved ones and feel unworthy of their support or affection.

As a result, they may push you away to alleviate their guilt or to prevent themselves from inflicting further damage on the relationship.

5. Emotional Instability

Alcoholism can lead to significant emotional instability, including mood swings, anger, and irritability.

Your boyfriend may push you away during episodes of emotional distress to protect you from his unpredictable behavior or to prevent himself from causing harm in moments of vulnerability.

6. Prioritizing Alcohol

The primary focus of someone struggling with alcoholism is often obtaining and consuming alcohol.

This intense preoccupation with their addiction can lead to neglecting and distancing themselves from their loved ones, including you.

Your boyfriend may push you away as a result of prioritizing alcohol over maintaining a healthy relationship.

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7. Lack of Emotional Intimacy

Those with alcohol addiction often struggle with forming and maintaining deep emotional connections.

Their addiction can hinder their ability to be emotionally available and present in the relationship.

Consequently, they may push you away to avoid confronting their own emotional struggles or to prevent themselves from becoming too dependent on you.

8. Avoidance of Confrontation

Individuals addicted to drinking may fear confrontation or the potential consequences of their actions while under the influence.

Pushing you away could be an attempt to avoid confrontations about their drinking habits, accountability for their behavior, or facing the consequences of their actions.

9. Protection of Codependent Dynamics

Codependency is common in relationships affected by alcoholism. Your boyfriend may push you away to maintain the dysfunctional dynamics of the codependent relationship.

By distancing you, he might preserve the unhealthy patterns where he relies on you for support while continuing his destructive behavior.

10. Manipulation and Control

In some cases, people with alcohol addiction may push their partners away as a manipulative tactic to maintain control.

By creating distance, they retain power over the relationship dynamics and manipulate you emotionally.

This behavior can serve as a means of exerting control or testing your commitment to the relationship.

11. Fear of Intimacy and Vulnerability

Persons who abuse alcohol may struggle with fear of intimacy and vulnerability, which can contribute to their manipulative behavior of pushing their partners away.

Deep down, they may harbor insecurities and a fear of being truly seen and accepted by their partner.

By creating distance and maintaining control, they can avoid the discomfort and potential rejection of emotional intimacy.

12. Testing Boundaries and Commitment

Pushing you away can also serve as a way for your alcoholic boyfriend to test your boundaries and commitment to the relationship.

By creating emotional distance, they may gauge your dedication and loyalty. They may use this tactic to determine if you will continue to support them despite their harmful behaviors or if you will eventually give up and leave.

13. Maintaining Addictive Patterns

Self-isolation and manipulation can help the alcoholic boyfriend perpetuate the cycle of addiction.

They can maintain independence and control over their drinking habits by pushing you away without interference or accountability.

This behavior allows them to continue their addictive patterns without confronting the consequences or the need for change.

14. Evasion of Responsibility

People that abuse alcohol may use self-isolation and manipulation to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and the impact of their addiction on the relationship.

By creating distance, they can deflect blame onto external factors or portray themselves as victims, further evading accountability for their behaviors.

This behavior enables them to avoid facing the consequences of their actions and the need to seek help or make positive changes.

Read Also: Why Does My Boyfriend Like to Startle Me?

Final Thoughts

Understanding why your alcoholic boyfriend pushes you away requires recognizing the complexity of alcoholism and its effects on relationships.

His actions may stem from fear, self-preservation, guilt, emotional instability, or other addiction-related factors.

While compassion and support are crucial, it is equally important to establish and maintain boundaries to protect your well-being.

Encouraging your boyfriend to seek professional help and engaging in open and honest communication can provide both of you with a path toward healing and growth.

The decision to address his addiction ultimately rests with him, and your well-being should always be a priority.


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