When it comes to approaching women, there are a lot of dos and don’ts. Whether you’re trying to approach a girl at a bar or on the street, there are some basic rules that you should keep in mind.
You’re at a bar, and you spot a girl that you want to talk to. You approach her and think to yourself, “What should I say?”
Don’t worry — it’s easy! In this article, I’ll show you how to approach a girl at a bar through 15 dos and don’ts. Without further ado, let’s get started.
How to Approach a Girl at a Bar
Here are ways to approach a girl at a bar
1. Do Not Be Rude
If she’s with other people, wait until they’re done talking before you approach her. Don’t interrupt them.
If she’s not with anyone, then politely introduce yourself and ask if she’d like to chat for a bit.
Don’t just walk up to her, tap her on the shoulder and say “hi.” That can be invasive and even scary for women who’ve experienced harassment in public spaces before.
Women — just like men — love it when someone is friendly and smiling at them!
If you’re nervous about approaching her, try smiling first so she knows that you mean no harm and want to talk because you find her interesting rather than because you want something from her (even if it ends up being true).
3. Don’t Get Angry When She Says No
If she turns down your advances or doesn’t seem interested in talking to you, don’t get angry or try to force things along by buying her drinks or other things like that.
Just move on and try again with someone else! There are plenty of other women out there who want what you have to offer!
4. Do Not Touch Her Without Her Consent
Don’t just walk up and grab her hand. Don’t touch her shoulder or attempt to kiss her on the cheek unless she’s given you a clear signal that she wants to be touched.
If you want to hug her, ask first.
5. Do Not Tell Her She’s Beautiful
Just don’t do it. It sounds cheesy and insincere and comes off as creepy when said by a stranger who hasn’t earned your trust yet (which is what you are).
Plus, she’ll know that’s what you’re trying to do, which makes you look less confident and less attractive as a result.
Instead of saying something trite like “You’re beautiful,” try asking her about herself or complimenting something specific about how she looks tonight (her hair? Her necklace?).
You’ll come across as more genuine and less desperate if you avoid the generic compliments that everyone says but few mean.
6. Don’t Be Flirty
The worst thing you can do when trying to talk to a girl is to act like you’re interested in her.
Women are very good at reading people; if they sense that you’re just trying to get with them, they will shut you down immediately.
If you want to talk to a girl, just be yourself and don’t make any comments that could be construed as being flirtatious or sexual.
7. Do Say Something Interesting About Yourself
The first thing you should do is make sure that your opening line is relevant to your surroundings and the type of bar you’re at.
For example, if you’re in a fancy bar, don’t try to be funny or clever. Instead, just say something like, “What’s up? My name is _.”
If the person is alone and seems receptive, then follow up with something like, “I’ve never been here before; what’s good?”
8. Don’t Try Too Hard to Impress Her or Use Cheesy Pick-up Lines
Don’t try too hard to impress her or use cheesy pick-up lines because that will probably come across as insincere and desperate.
You want to keep it simple and straightforward. Do not overthink or unnecessarily complicate matters by trying too hard.
9. Do Ask Questions About Her Interests and Hobbies
Once you’ve broken the ice with a simple greeting, continue the conversation by asking questions about her interests and hobbies, such as her favorite movies or books, where she’s from (if she looks foreign), what kind of music she listens to, etc.
This will give her a chance to open up more gradually.
10. Don’t Overstay Your Welcome
Once she’s said everything she wants to say and is no longer interested in talking with you, move on and talk with someone else.
11. Don’t Smell Bad
It’s not just about deodorant and mouthwash. You want to show up smelling like you’re clean and fresh. Not like a homeless person.
That’s not to say you have to smell like some sort of cologne or perfume commercial, but don’t come in stinking like cigarettes and whiskey either.
12. Don’t Over Impress Her
Don’t buy something expensive just because she looks like she might be impressed by it — it will only make you look like an idiot.
13. Don’t Be Too Forward With Your Intentions
Don’t be too forward with your intentions right away (i.e., asking someone out on a date). Instead try striking up a casual conversation by asking.
14. Avoid Subjects About Your Exes or Sex
Don’t talk about your exes or recent breakups and heartbreaks. You don’t want her to pity you but to find you interesting and attractive.
Also, you don’t want to appear to her as a pervert, so try to keep sexual innuendos at a minimum; better still, just stick to having incredible conversations.
15. Pay Attention When She Talks About Herself
She will notice when you do this, and this will increase her attraction to you. You can ask follow-up questions about what she talks about to show her that you were listening.
We hope you found this article helpful in learning how to approach a girl at a bar.
Remember, the most important thing is to be yourself and have confidence.
If you follow these tips, you’ll be sure to make a great impression and maybe even meet the girl of your dreams. So go out there and have fun!
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