No one ever promised that a romantic relationship would be all rosy. And without a few or some hurdles to overcome. It’s certainly, not a joyful thing when you come to the realization that your once upon a time loving and wonderful relationship is failing.
And you are at the crossroad of if to save it, or if to let it go down the hills? At the moment, you ask yourself countless questions if you’re the one at fault or if it’s your partner that is at fault?
If you should give up on your partner and your relationship, and move on to the next available person in the queue?
Most times, you may want to give up on the Relationship without putting up a fight to save it. You feel, what’s the point of putting up a fight to save the relationship?
When there’s someone else whom you think is better and wouldn’t be much of a headache or stress to you like your present partner is.
And a lot of times, you tend to repeat the same circle all over again. Hence, you find yourself in the same spot you once left, empty, broken, and drained!
Having misunderstandings and arguments in Relationships is inevitable no doubt.
There comes a time in which you and your partner would want to avoid each other as much as you can. You both go for days without even speaking to each other.
The both of you try as much as possible not to even fight for what you once had, loved, and was the envy of others. But come to think of it, should it really be so? And should such a mentality be the case?
Well, if you would want to be honest with yourself, I believe the answer would be NO!
Relationships most times is not as complicated as you make them seem. Or is it rocket science that needs intense studying to pass the course?
It simply requires your patience, understanding, and a whole lot of compromise for your partner.
At the moment, you might be on the verge of wanting to end your relationship with your partner.
Simply because of a slight misunderstanding or a little difference/s which can easily be managed if there’s an understanding between you and your partner.
Remember, it’s ok. In fact, you are completely justified to walk away from a toxic relationship, which brings you down rather than lift you up.
A relationship that puts a dent on your self-esteem instead of it bringing out the best version of you.
Hence, you have every solid right to walk away from such a failed Relationship without looking back! But if there’s no form of toxicity from your partner. But mere misunderstandings and arguments.
There are ways to curtail such and make your Relationship work once again just like it did at the initial stage of the Relationship.
Therefore, before you take the step of putting an end to your failing Relationship and walking out of it.
It’s paramount you take a few minutes to consider the following options that when keenly applied would assist you and your partner in making your Relationship work once again.
1. Sit and quietly remind yourself what attracted you to your partner in the first place.
We all want to be friends or go into a relationship with someone because of something special about them.
This special thing could be the way they laugh. How they make you feel so special whenever you are around them, and the ways they make you believe in yourself.
Hence, you sitting down to ask yourself what attracted you to your partner in the first place.
Would not only assist you in keeping your Relationship but it would also make you come to the realization of the good, and great things about your partner that you might be presently overlooking.
This might be due to the hurts in your heart due to the misunderstandings and the grudges you may have towards your partner at the moment.
Always have it at the back of your mind that, if you can look way beyond the little grudges and the arguments, you’d see so many reasons why to still hold on to your partner and your failing Relationship, and make it work out.
2. Have a genuine heart-to-heart conversation with your partner about your failing Relationship.
Having solid communication with your partner is one of the stepping stones to a lasting romantic relationship.
Kindly ask yourself if over the past few weeks or months if you and your partner have been communicating more often than you should?
Ask yourself if the times you and your partner had communicated were on issues that were of matters of the heart that is bothering you or your partner about your failing Relationship?
If your answer/s is NO! Then it’s very essential to at least sit your partner down and iron the issues you both are having out once and for all.
And have a dialogue on ways to make the relationship work as time goes on. You and your partner should come out straight on why you cannot let the relationship go, on reasons why you both need to fight for what you have.
3.Be very open about your past and anything else you feel your partner needs to know
No one is completely perfect no doubt. You might be a perfectionist in one area of your life, and be so clumsy and a mess in another area of your life.
And a lot of times, there are or were some things in your past you are not so proud of which in a way has come to hunt you down at all cost.
But nonetheless, if you and your partner have had genuine Communication as earlier mentioned, and you both had decided not to give up on yourselves, but to stand for what you once had and still have. There’s no point keeping the can of worms from your past closed.
You and your partner should come out clean with each other. And when this happens, remember not to be judgemental or use it against your partner later on.
This would and can also put a BIG strain on your Relationship in both the short and long run.
4. Learn to sincerely forgive each other.
Forgiving a wrong done to you is most times so difficult. Not everyone has the trait of forgiving an err done to you by either your partner or someone else easily.
No one said your partner won’t hurt you by either their words or deeds. Or your partner breaking countless promises and fulfilling none. Your partner letting you down when you need him/her the most.
But you know what? If you don’t learn to forgive things easily, in the long run, you’re only hurting yourself more than you think. Most times it’s easier said than done, forgiving someone who has hurt you, etc.
But come to think of it, why hold on to unnecessary grudges and being held captive of such a wrong? When you can tell yourself you are above holding on to grudges and kindly move on by forgiving the wrong done to you by your partner?
Therefore, instead of giving up on him or her and allowing your failing Relationship to go down the drain.
You can sincerely forgive each other, and endeavor to start all over again by making things right between the both of you. Remember the benefits of forgiveness are so enormous, and you should try forgiving more often!
5. Endeavor to always keep your words and promises.
It’s only a weak person that makes promises and not fulfill or keep them.
Endeavor to be a man or woman of your words to your partner. If you know deep down within you that you cannot and will not keep to thee thing/s you say to your partner.
Then there’s no point sweet-talking your partner and raising their hopes for nothing! When you tend to do this too often, you would lose their trust and reliability for you.
And when such goes on in your Relationship longer than necessary, it would only put more strain on your Relationship.
Hence, making it go down the drain. And also, on the other hand, if you expect your partner not to chat with an ex, in your presence or when you are not.
Then you shouldn’t do the same either when your partner is around or not. If you expect your partner not to be out so late at night having hangouts with friends,you should also abide by such a rule yourself.
That way your Relationship would be balanced once more. And it wouldn’t be just you or only your partner, that is putting in all the efforts to make it work out. And prevent the relationship from failing.
6.Endeavor to understand your Partner’s perspective about things.
Most times, you might want to be very selfish and want things to go your way at all times.
This is so wrong and would only put more strain on your failing Relationship. Of you’re oftentimes, of this attitude.
Then you need to put a stop to it! Therefore in order to save your failing Relationship, endeavor to try as much as you can to compromise most times.
By seeing things from your partner’s perspective, rather than always wanting almost everything about the relationship to go your way. When you start doing this, your partner will feel happy.
And in turn, you will be fulfilled that you laid down few things about you, in order to make your partner happy at least
7. Be mindful about things you tell others about your failing Relationship.
Most times, when you are at the crossroad of if to end your relationship with your partner or not. You might want to share your worries with your close pals or friends.
And in the process, due to how emotional you might be. You end up spilling out more than you should about your partner and failing your Relationship with your friends. This is wrong! Anything about your relationship should be kept private as much as possible.
Even if you need the help or opinion of others about what you should do and the steps to take. It should only be with those you truly trust, and who would utmostly keep what you’ve told them to themselves. And not go about spilling it out to others when you are not there.
This way, when you and your partner get to iron out your differences and work on restoring your failing Relationship.
Those things you had earlier said about your partner, to others. Won’t come back to hunt you both in either the short or long run.
8. Endeavour to overlook some differences about your Partner’s personality you don’t really like.
A few/ most things about your partner’s personality might freak you out.No doubt! And some inconsiderate behaviors you wouldn’t want to tolerate.
But remember, you are not also a perfect being. If you were then, perhaps you shouldn’t be on planet Earth…lol.
Therefore, try as much as you can to overlook a few things so that peace would reign. For if you want to always raise an eyebrow each time there’s a flop by your partner.
And decide to walk away from the relationship rather than making it work. The other person you want to run to might not or would be worst in his/her personality traits than you expect.
9. Try as much as possible to spend quality time together
Nothing brings and binds two hearts together than when together. The moments spent together with the one you love can never be traded for anything else. It makes your partner feel loved, special and regarded as one of your topmost priorities.
This would in a lot of ways, help mend the patches in your failing Relationship. And make you and your partner realize you two were missing out on a whole lot. And help you get your once upon a time of great relationship back!
Jessica Felicio (Unsplash)
Alex Iby (Unsplash)